New beginnings

Arriving to the Philippines wasn’t the easiest thing because a so called sister in Christ that I was supposed to meet here, and do missionary work with, kind of ditched me in the last second. 

Instead I took a flight to Coron, but soon regretted that and thought about going to a surfcamp instead which is nowhere near to here. So here I was lost and confused again without a straight line to go, and in my desperation I prayed to God and asked him to lead me on a straight path because I’m tired of criss crossing, like really tired of it!

Soon after my prayer a got a message from my sister Karem who knows a sister that lives close to Coron. We’ll see where that leads but it gave me some faith and began my day with more hope.

I met a Polish woman called Asia here in Coron yesterday and we went for a tour today. Besides that I’m planning on renting a bike to discover the island a bit. Honestly though I’m just waiting to do something more important than touring, like helping people which was my initial plan, but God knows.

I just hope that life is gonna become more of a straight path for me, maybe I’ll find that in Australia. Some place where I can feel safe with the people around me, where I can practice my passions and live in line with nature. That’s my dream!

I like this speech with Denzel Washington where he says that we should begin each day by thanking God for all the good things (peace, water, hope, sun, love, dreams, friendship, food, health etc.) and therefore draw ourselves closer to it. There’s so much potential and if we claim the things we love in life we might aswell get more of it.

Being rejected this time made me realise how important it is to let go of all the past hurts, and all the past relationships that didn’t work out, in order to start fresh and open myself up for new better ones. I’ve been holding on to so many people hoping that they would love me one day, the way I expect to be loved, but it’s time to let go and see where everything goes.

When I met Asia I told her about the friend that ditched me, and she said it was probably for the better and that I now have all the bad things behind me and an open future. I really cared for those words and feel that it’s how I want to feel from now on; free from past hurts and bad relationships and completely open for the new ones. Lets see where that will lead me!

Having that said I think letting go also clarifies all the good stuff of the past and makes me even more thankful for all the good things it left me with. Without burning like a Phoenix though I won’t be able to start a new beginning, and that’s what I want whatever that means.

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