It only took me a week before I realised why I need to live in another country at this point in my life, Sweden is simply too lonesome for me.
My professional life here is fine, but when it comes to deep meaningful relationships it’s like digging for a needle in a haystack because it takes way too long before you can earn that trust with someone here, or I might just be unlucky, but I’ve always felt somewhat lonely in Sweden.
Maybe it’s a divine setup for me to travel a lot and live in other countries, what do I know, all I know is that I’ve tried everything to build a life here but always end up unsatisfied. It’s sad because I would like to feel at home in my own homecountry, but it’s a blessing because it drives me to travel and learn about other cultures.
I definately feel more at home in Brazil, but I still appreciate a better working political system and that’s why I think Australia could be just right. I also hope to meet people there to collaborate with on all levels; professionaly, emotionally, physically and spiritually, something that I’ve been able to do by traveling between Sweden and Brazil but now look to find in one single place.
There’s a positive aspect to suffering; it forces you to look for something better. If you also, like me, have a pretty clear picture of what you want in life it’s even easier to exclude and include in order to reach forward. Needless to say it’s a difficult path to always strive for something better far away, but I don’t have any other choice, my need for deep relationships and a deep level of professional collaboration in an honest society exeeds all the difficulties to reach it.
Jesus is my highest standard and in the end of the day it’s always about him, but we all have our different paths to get in line with the highest standard and when something feels wrong you know you’re out of line. I know I’m not ment to live in Sweden right now, even though there are a few people here that I would like to take care of. I just know that I need to look further in order to meet my needs and therefore help other people meet their needs.
Thanks to Dr Jordan Peterson I’ve learned to appreciate democracies where the freedom of speech is essential, like Sweden, because it’s the basics for being able to express the truth. Once we are allowed to express our truth we can build trustworthy relationships. Unfortunately Sweden is in a postmodern era where expressing the truth isn’t as valued, but we can probably turn that around in the long run.
Got to spend some time with my childhood friend today, tomorrow I’m gonna meet up with a brother I haven’t seen for years and on Saturday I’m invited for lunch at my ex-coworkers place. Thankful to meet up with people after three days just lying sick in bed! I was never ment to live alone, I was ment to have truthful relationships but that’s a difficult one apparently, I try my best to get there though.