Seeds is all I think about these days after a metaphor a brother told me back in Rio. He compared us humans to fruits and said that sometimes we need to get rid of the old fruit in order to plant the seeds inside of it and grow new, fresh fruit.
Imagine that we’re all seeds to begin with, but sometimes we grow badly and need to prepare new healthy earth and plant our seed all over again in order to become our fullest potential. It’s pretty much like the Phoenix bird renewing itself from the ashes over and over again.
Maybe that’s why Jesus told us to pick up our cross and follow him each and every day, which pretty much means to die from ourselves for something greater. Or to sacrifice who we are to become what we could be, we are our greatest enemy after all.
Dr Jordan Peterson puts it like this in a video about transformation (see video here):
You are the thing that is and you are the thing that becomes, and a good moral rule is to put the thing that becomes on a higher place than the thing that is. This also means that you have to shake off the things about you that you might be pathologically attached to, habits and people for that matter, ways of thinking and all of those things. You have to allow yourself to shake those off and that’s more like a burning. That’s why the Phoenix is the symbol that it is, it bursts into flames and then it’s reborn, and you wanna be reborn but that’s not the question. The question is do you wanna burn into flames? The answer to that generally is no, but that’s the wrong answer, the right answer is you let all of that nonsense burn away.
Forgiveness is definately a part of letting go and start over, but it’s not all that easy. I think of myself as a spiritual being and lately I’ve felt that I have knives in my heart from when people have hurt me. I go through each and every knife trying to identify it’s origin in order to forgive it and move on.
One knife I’ve identified is that a lot of people saw potential in me as a child, but I then grew up picking up on some bad habits that runs in the family and maybe in the society as a whole. This made them dissapointed because I lost my fullest potential and picked up on bad habits just like them, which made them blame themselves at first, which is too big of a burden so they started to blame me. Surely I picked up on this habit too and blamed them which continues the bad circle all over again.
As soon as I realised this I choose to forgive everyone involved, including myself, which gave me the freedom to start over and give my potential another shot. It’s a nest of feelings, manners and bad habits, and some of them has been around for generations, but there’s a solution for these things and that’s why we should seek them out.
With that said, I now feel more free and empowered to continue this journey with more skills to use in order to renew myself, plant new seeds and reach my fullest potential. Another interesting video with Jordan Peterson is this interview/lecture about the psychology of creativity. Watching this video made me realise that I’m definately a creative person who has struggled to get my innovative ideas out there, and from time to time it has worked which is against all odds, my workshops with kids creativity for instance.
Why is it against all odds? Being a creative person is not an easy thing because you push the boundaries and stand out, and just like any animal who stands out from the flock there’s a higher risk of being attacked by the predator. Being a disciple of Christ makes me less scared of my enemy though and I feel brave enough to take on whatever challenge God has chosen me for, and being creative is definately one of them. Jordan Peterson explains more about why it is a challenge to be creative in the video about the psychology of creativity.
After a wonderful last week in Rio with family/friends I was lucky enough to spend some relaxed quality time with my friends in Ireland before flying back to Sweden. I have one month in Sweden before flying to the Philippines and after that I’m moving to Australia for a year or two God willing.
This summer, while praying to God about my future, I suddenly got Australia in my heart and realised that it’s a good place for me to do everything I love including acting (studying at NIDA), dancing (ballet), gymnastics (they have adult beginners classes all over the place) and surfing. Besides that I plan to do some volunteering/workaway before looking for a job. God probably has something specific in mind but that’s what I’m motivated to do. Hopefully I will also be able to study at Jordan Petersons new online university by then.
I see it as an opportunity for me to plant seeds in the fields that I truly love and let the love multiply. It’s gonna be a new beginning for sure and it’s like I’m currently shaking of the stuff that I’m pathologically attached to, or burning like a Pheonix per say, in order to start fresh when I arrive in Australia. It’s gonna be an adventure for sure, and always with God’s plan in mind. This is something I wrote down yesterday:
My relationship with God is what inspires me to be brave, burn like a Pheonix and move forward like never before. Our relationship is so clear to me that I care less about the fear of others or the fear of what other people think, it’s all about Him! I might be wrong here and there but I trust that He will lead me right always, and to take up my cross and follow him is what this post is all about.