Lately I’ve become some sort of a psychology junkie, reading and listening to people like Jordan Peterson, Brené Brown and David Goggins. Besides helping me in my personal life it’s motivating me to develope as an actor and artist.
I’ve just binged watched these following videos with Marshall Rosenberg about non-violent communication (they are in English so you can watch them too) and they really helped me understand basic human needs and how to deal with them.
Basically Marshall says that every human need is based on please or thank you, and we use all kinds of strategies to express that. Some strategies are good and some bad, but they all derive from the same basic need to be seen and understood. Being able to identify the need of others and ourselves can help us communicate better.
Meanwhile I started reading The Power of the Actor by Ivana Chubbuck which is talking about the exact same thing, basic human needs, and how to identify the overall objective of a character in a script. No wonder most actors study psychology, it truly goes hand in hand with the art.
With that said, our basic human need is usually a need for love somehow. This other day I was at a friends house and felt like dancing so I ended up dancing to the worship song Because of your love by Chris Quilala, which truly empowered me and made me believe that I can express God’s awesomeness through dancing because of His love for me.
We all have strategies for how to recieve and express love, and it is these strategies that can make a story or a person interesting and attractive. Which strategies for love are you inspired by and why? That’s a question worth asking! My goal is to be in tune with how I use my strategies and why.
In the lectures about non-violent communication by Marshall Rosenberg, he talks a lot about judging or evaluating someone and quoted a philosopher that blew my mind:
The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.
He explained that a judgement/evaluation of someone keeps you from seeing that persons true behaviour and underlying need and unfortunately this mindset keeps us from understanding our own needs too. In The Power of Acting the author also mentions how important it is to not judge your character in order to discover his/her objective in the story.
This together with how Jesus wants us to deny ourselves and become non-judgemental, I know that I’m touching on some truth here. The goal is to be able to observe people and behaviours, including my own, without judgement in order to see the true need. This takes practice, but I truly recommend Marshall Rosenbergs lectures in order to understand it better.
It’s all about freedom in the end of the day, and it’s crazy how many things we need to unlearn in order to get back to our natural mode of giving and loving. It’s worth every step of the way though, even though it takes time.
I’ve had some amazing days with sisters and brothers in Christ here in Rio de Janeiro, we’ve shared a lot of lovely moments together while exploring nature, but tomorrow I’m heading back to Europe and eventually Sweden. Thankful!